Back in 2006 I had a site called Quirky Sex (the domain is defunct now). This site was a linklist of kink but I also included unusual sex news and plenty of porn-related comedy. The other day I stumbled on these fake DVD boxcovers that I’d made for the site. They were parodies of the typical porn titles of the time. I made them using some of the weird licensed photos I had in my collection. I thought I’d share them here because they’re still funny.
Note, the images are really small because back then bandwidth was precious and we were all using clunky monitors with low resolutions.
Nita Heartley’s Guide To Pleading For Sex #39
I do love his hopeful look.
Cletus “Squealer” Buford in Mullet Lust (Over 4 hours of hardcore mullet action!)
You know, now that mullets are back this title could be a real thing.
Contraception The Catholic Way. The only porn film endorsed by Pope Benedict XVI!
Yep, this bit of fun is so old there’s a new pope. This pic has always made me laugh, it’s a weird shot amid what is otherwise a very sexy and sensual set of photos.
Zipper Slips. Watch them get the beans above the frank!
A happy reference to There’s Something About Mary combined with this very unnecessary pic of a guy with his cock stuck in his zip.
Ear Wax Guzzlers: “Hotter than an ear candle! – Five stars!” – ENT Doctor Mag
Sooo many pics of tongues in ears…
Benny Hill Tantra For Lovers – With seductive saxophone soundtrack.
OK, maybe a lot of you are now too young for this joke. If you don’t know who Benny Hill is, he was a 70s comedian whose stock in trade was “saucy” (sexist) chases accompanied by the Yakety Sax music. A sample vid here.
Yawning Lesbians. 5 hours of disinterested girl-girl sex
I really liked this subtitle because there were a lot of disinterested porn stars at that time. But also, this is the idea video for those suffering Lesbian Bed Death (which could be the sequel).
Checking For Cooties
The uncertain look on her face is gold.
Zen And The Art Of Toothbrush Replacement
No further explanation required. This still makes me laugh
Gas Guzzling Sluts. High oil prices get them off!
This photo was from a “they meet and fuck at a gas station” scenario. I’m not sure what anyone was thinking. But then again, let’s all think wistfully about oil prices in 2006. Oh yeah… maybe that’s what she’s fantasizing about.
Chair Fuckers: Hot Furniture Porn
Solo male nude sets often featured guys doing strange things with their cocks. These two blokes were certainly living dangerously.
Ah, fun times. I’ve added a Bright Desire URL to these pics but unfortunately, these films aren’t real and don’t appear on the site. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.
If you’re looking for quality ethical porn with real life couples and award-winning short films, check out the Bright Desire Tour and join my wonderful site.
But if you’re looking for ear wax porn or zipper slips, I’m sorry, I can’t help.
PS. Please consider joining the mailing list. I sent out silly things like this each month.
