The Olympics has come around again and that means it’s time to enjoy some Olympic-themed sex memes.
Yes, we thought we’d go a step further with your usual Olympics memes and make them sexy. It’s a bit of a stretch but then again, the penis-pole-vault headlines have just written themselves.
Let’s go back to the last time a penis ruined someone’s Olympic dream, back in Rio 2016:
And then let’s make ALL the jokes about it again in 2024
Bonus points to the Daily Beast for printing this:
“You know that thing that happens all the time, where your penis is just so big it prevents you from winning a medal at the Olympics? I know, right? Same. And that’s what happened to our brother, French pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati on Saturday at the Paris Games.
“The pole vaulter appeared to have propelled past the height of the bar, but when he contorted his body around, he didn’t, apparently, give enough clearance for his, um, entire member to clear it entirely. A slow-motion video that, if we’re being honest, deserves Oscar consideration for best short film, reveals that, as Ammirati was falling back to the ground, the bulge in his spandex caught the bar. (If I had a nickel, amiright?).”
Turns out packing an extra long pole is not a safe option in this sport.
Meanwhile, the Paris Opening Ceremony was full of fabulous drag queens and this guy:
Congrats on upsetting lots of people who haven’t ever studied Greek myths and didn’t know a good Bacchanalia when they saw one..
Alas, what we all thought was a wild testicle on the guy in the background turned out just to be a rip in his stockings.
In other news, the Paris games mascot is totally a clitoris:
Sure, it’s meant to be a funny hat like Papa Smurf’s hat but you can’t convince me that it’s anything but a clitoris.
Things got sexy at the pool:
Everyone wanted to get a good look at French diver Jules Bouyer who really liked adjusting his Speedos
The Italians were hot, as usual
Here’s some other fun Olympics sex memes:
I’m grateful for the Paris Olympics and also very happy that it produced so many great Olympics sex memes.
